Match Reports are written immediately after the game and are a representaion of what happened on and off the field. Other information such as players, reserves, points and scorers are also included along with previous game reports from matches against that team with photographs and videos if available.
Which is, of course, a complete lie. But I'm not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story.
First things first. Thank be to Muncher for safely delivering us there and back again and for the Tiki tour in between. A difficult job done with style. Thank You.
Second things second. Thanks to Piez for getting his missus to do all the tour cards and the tour shirt and letting him actually go on tour. Maybe she needed a break from cooking four fried chickens with a coke every day.
Third things third. Thanks to Vic and the friendly staff at the Otematata Lakes Hotel who looked after us very well. Except for the hypothermia on the Friday night.
After pissing literally on my heritage, Red made friends with the locals and proceeded to fight them in the local manner by drinking beer as fast as humanly possible, but he wasn't quite fast enough to be effective.
Webby's skills in also failing to drink caught the eye of some of the local itinerant workers and we didn't see him again till later the next day.
Some interesting Court Charges came up on Saturday. Many of them true. But as always, you had to be there.
After court, Dick was sick. Following Breen and Jonesy being sick during court. So that was good.
Then it became time to stitch Muncher up for being a soft prick. Who would have thought there could be so many picture cards in one deck?
Saturday night, the boys were slightly less awake than Friday. Espcecially Mittens who was so tired and emotional he lost several heaters and blankets. And keys. And dignity.
And I don't know about you, but if it's dignified to not be able to take off your pants while going for a piss thereby soaking them in urine, then I'm a Scotsman.
Sunday dawned far too early for many reasons, but after the second amazing breakfast we started the Ashes with Johnno and Dirk giving our best shot to hold onto them, but alas, twasn't to be. Well done Mark and Webby.
Following that portion of the the Tour, Court was again in session and many many lies were told by defendants against completely honest charges brought by the prosecution.
Then the anti-Dirk brigade started getting Keiths to vote for anyone who wasn't named Dirk which nearly worked as for the third time in a row, he was in a tied vote. Second chances however, are Dirk's friend and he came out a clear winner for Keith of the Year
Then it was time to endure the god almighty stink of the van for the several hours it took to get back home.
With promises to all meet again next Saturday for the Awards, the trip was over.
Keith to Kokatahi Otematata end of season tour dates are now locked in.
Friday 4th September 2015 - Sunday 6th September.
Requirements: $120. This covers travel, accommodation & breakfast (two nights) and tour shirt. It is also necessary to bring a sleeping bag and a pillow for sleeping purposes. As if anyone sleeps.
As usual, we meet at Keastys at the Bush Inn at mid-day for check in etc and a departure time of 1-00pm.
Message Isaac on KeithBook or by phone to confirm your place in the van by Sunday, 16th August to enable tour shirts to be ordered.. If you say you're coming and don't for any reason you will have to pay for the tour shirt.
Confirmed so far: Thursday 13th August
Isaac Arapai
Steve Jones
Mark van Groenedaal
Damien Breen
Kristen Currie
Nick Bolton
Thomas Red Matthew
Stuart Herriott
John Luxton
Bevan Webb
Kevin Williams
Richard Power
John McKeage
Paul Crichton
Cal Dall
Brendyn Lawson (traveling from Dunedin)
Keith return from Kokatahi intact and in good spirits. Mostly vodka and red bull spirits.
Of course, many things can never be repeated about what happened, but Red's fascination with a pink double ended dildo needs some consideration; as does Dirk's familiarity with a tame Kune Kune pig(let).
Big thanks to Trouty and Paddy for driving the boys over and back and for not killing anyone along the way. Big thanks also to Piez for the tour cards, although he did forget the gauntlet cards. Extra big thanks to Grenville, Vicky and Sal for not overcharging us too much on the piss and food and beds and for welcoming us again into their home.
Court session on Saturday provided some interesting insights into the inner working of some Keiths, and I will always wonder why some people blatantly lie to the Judges and think they can get away with it.
The Ashes were a marvelous tournament to watch as always. Especially when Trouty coughed at the last ball and handed the trophy over to it's new holders, Dirk and Johnno.
Of course, the ultimate prize is Keith of the Year. Every year it's getting more and more difficult to decide on who shall be awarded the trophy, and this year was no different. Dirk, who had only an hour earlier, won The Ashes, was pipped at the post by Dick who gave an emotion filled speech and then continued drinking heavily.
Well done to everybody who participated in the weekend.
Countries from where Keith Members have come from.
KEITH INCORPORATED
Incorporated [1499581] 29th March 2004 Secretary - John McKEAGE
Affiliated with Christchurch High School Old Boys' RFC (Incorporated [219862] 19th October 1960) Secretary - Geoff FALLOON
CLUBROOMS & PLAYING FIELDS
The H.S.O.B. RFC Clubrooms are located at 10 Riccarton Avenue with changing rooms at 5 Ayr Street. Playing and Training Fields at Bob Deans Fields, North Hagley Park and Training Fields at South Hagley Park
TEAM OFFICIALS
Head / Forward Coach - Phil KEARNS Back Coache - Cal DALL
Manager - Peter HADDOCK Keith At Large - Steve JONES Financial Controller - Kristen CURRIE Clothing Officer - Damien BREEN
TEAM OFFICIALS
Social Media Officer - John McKEAGE
2018 Anniversary - Peter HADDOCK
Committee - Isaac ARAPAI, Damien BREEN, Kristen CURRIE, Cal DALL, Peter HADDOCK, Bruce HALLINAN, Steve JONES, Phil KEARNS, John McKEAGE, Bevan WEBB, Kevin WILLIAMS
Bob Deans Fields
