It's always tough writing the first up match report of a new season after a long hiatus doing shit that's not rugby related when if truth be told, the non rugby related shit was a lot easier to do but not quite so enjoyable because fuckin' NEW BOYS GALORE!!!
Trouty never bought quality New Boys to the team like this, except for Dick POWER whom many believe was Karl HADDOCK'S identical twin brother which everyone at first thought was lost in one of those in-utero cannibalistic things that happen but that Trouty recognised from the pile in the rubbish as a potential quality player. So to have this many quality New Boys is good. I think. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It'll turn out fine later on I'm sure.

Nine of the starting Fifteen were New Boys and they fit in just nicey thank you. I can now see where we went wrong for the last 40 years. You have to be able to run and pass and catch and kick and not die of exhaustion. Who knew?
First up, Tam. Basically, a steam roller on legs. Dene; beardy and tall and nordic looking enough to scare any anglo-saxon-celt hybrid to death. But tells a good joke to make up for it. Gus made an impression by doing what a flanker is supposed to do. Not get overtly noticed until he's already tackled you and halfway to the tryline with the ball he just stole. Simon quickly told Tom to piss off with the kicking attempts because, let's face it, he's not been practicing over the summer now have you Tom. Too busy trying to woo girls. Jonathan went off early with a sore foot so I'm not sure how good a game he actually had, because Irish, pasty skin, bright sunny day = hard to see. Cam did good at the back of the field running up nicely and stuff. I don't know what skitteries are supposed to do exactly but he seemed like it went well for him.
The big impact players came on in the second half such as Dan who really shouldn't be described as big because is 4 foot still a legal measurement? Tiny Forbes (ironic) lumbered across the park with surprising ease and did what locks do best by taking ball and not sharing with the backs. Ben pushed his magnificent frame around proudly much like Barry Fife told everyone to do in Baz Lurhman's cinematic masterpiece, Strictly Ballroom so that was nice. James did the same but with not quite so much aplomb, but still nicely. So that was also good.

The remaining reserves, such as they were, were not quite as ready for the new season as they told themselves with Andy and Bruce and VG and Muncher (lol) and Piez having brief moments of exercise on the paddock with Chief only coming off after saying he hurt his foot.

Of course, the best thing, after winning, was New Boys scoring on debut. Cheers Cam Macca and Tam. Alex got away with it by playing one game for us last year so not technically his debut, but we'll get him in other ways.

Have I mentioned we won yet? We did and bloody convincingly too, except for that bit near the end where we went off the boil a bit, but it was a hot day.