Exactly 18 years ago today, I gave birth to a clumsy, awkward looking and oftentimes disrespectful child called keith.org.nz.

His father, "Torch" THOMSON gave me the tools for the job but quite soon abandoned me to raise the little gob-shite on my own. It was a hard road, full of trials and tribulations, but also full of joy and awards (Website of the Month (June 2000) - BallsOut Website of the Month Awards).

At first, his clothes never fit him, either he grew out of them, or I just bought the wrong size, but, by the time he was of school age, we both had our thing down pat.

Now, the little shit is old enough to drink, vote, join the army, drive a bus and have sex in Las Vegas with a prostitute.

Where did the time go?