It all started in the expectation that more Keiths would turn up and when that didn't eventuate, those that did turn up, hardened up and went on to Linfield decrying the standards of the CRRA. But, as has been said since time began, you can't win or lose a match because of a referee. Tries win matches, not really bad decisions.

Unit was his usual cheery self. Webby's personal protection squad were their usual cheery selves. Muzz was fizzing at the bit to take his clothes off after the game and Georgie decided he'd time travelled back to before his dad had started school. That 'tache is frightening. And according to the trial record, I'm frightening, so it must be extra awful.

So Bravo got off to a good start with a nice dot down in the far corner and Griff showed us that his kicking practicing wasn't in vain. but then, as always, we rested on our advantage and went off the boil allowing Linwood to come back at us three times. Maybe all the kicking our backs were firing Linwood's way had something to do with it? We'll never know.

A get off your arse pep talk by Chief and Andy at half time went in one mud filled ear and out the other excepting for Bravo, who like in the first half, dotted down immediately the second started and then a third time at the end of the match. Not that he was skiting or anything. But he was the highlight of the game and got the MVP to prove it. The Tongan Quartet proved they have the get the fuck out of my way i'm coming through attitude and that was good to watch, which is something the rotundness of some of our other forwards doesn't allow to happen.

In the end, an overall performance of indifference but with breaks of good solid Keithliness. Nothing to write home about except to say it was muddy and the LockIn court session afterwards exposed some Keiths to more ridicule than they deserve. But all inn good fun.

Footnotes

Footnotes

If you've got a reputation, like Suburbs do, you either live up to it, or you change it. Suburbs decided to live up to theirs. Hard physical slightly borderline illegal tough rugby. And we didn't cope that well. Both up in the top 6 inches and in the remaining parts below. Cal and Jezza both went to seek the help of trained but over-tired physicians for season ending injuries and others came off surprisingly early also due to difficulties with the ferocity of the Suburbs attack.
I myself don't think we played poorly, but others at the time had differing opinions as to our commitment to the 80 minute effort. Some Keiths played out of their skins such as Dirk and Muzz and maybe you if you're telling the story later on. Others were lack lustre.

Rugby's a funny old mind game sometimes.

Notwithstanding my previous comments above, Dirk fully deserved MVP for his general all round get stuck in game and Murray as also mentioned above had a full throated right up the middle give it straight back to them performance. Tom had a good start at fullback but after Cal went off, came back to first five where he seemed better suited. Which meant Bravo moved from wing to fullback which meant Georgie, Shane, Brad and Mossie all had a go on the wing. Jones (Welsh) came off early for a wee lie down but Jones (NZ) came off to give Chief a run. Both hookers had difficulty with the wind, but not too many errors.

The rest of the forwards did well but not exceptionally well as hoped. Joseph and Pounga and Matini proved we need some Island blood to liven things up but Muncher, Pieman and Unit prove we need old white man guile and cunning. So a happy mix all round so far.Trouty is of the opinion we need to start all our Tongan boys at once and next week against the Sharks may be a good chance to prove his theory.

The bitterly cold wind didn't stop our usual supporters from supporting, so thank you to them for coming out, but maybe the break several players had because of colds and other equally weak protestations will do them some good for their next game.

Oh, and where the fuck was Ross? A birthday trip to OZ? New BOY!!!!

Don't go there Johnno, don't go there! We can rebuild it, we have the technology.(( Sargentina Trophy ))

First things first, congratulations to Webby on 200 games and 250 points. And for what seems like 200 Tongan New Boys. All very much appreciated blah blah blah we luff you long time let's not make a big song and dance or a bad joke about it because let's be frank, who hasn't done a shit ton of hard work and effort to be consistently one of our go to players and purveyor of cheap meat?

While Tom's kicking has not been fully on par this season, he started off the match with a good penalty which stirred up Christchurch to a return try. Their only try. Their only points. Their only serious effort to cross the line. Their leave it all on the pitch because we can do this moment. Then Cal scored and Tom converted bringing up a first half lead of 10.
Sounds easy, but in actuality, it was(ish). Again, scrums proved our strength. But lineouts gave away some advantage. With a referee fresh from a referees rule book reading course, in what seemed like a crusade against us, he was constantly picking up on fault after fault instead of playing how the game was meant to be, and us trying to not get his way and trying to remember where our mouthguards were. That one sent Griff to the bin for 10. And in what seemed like a Kafkaesque tableaux, Murray was in the bin for fouling professionally. Pffft, as if he does anything in a professional manner.

13 on the field meant Christchurch had a huge chance and opportunity to chip away at our lead, but they didn't even muster a light charge at the line without Keith not only pushing them back but making them pay for the attempt.
From the sideline it really did seem like we still had 15 fully fit Keiths out there.

Second half was much like the first except almost everyone was swapped out for fitter players *cough cough bullshit*. Webby and Cal stayed on for the full 80 and gave their all but unfortunately 4 Keiths didn't get on. The downside of having a large squad is balancing the need to put the best team on vs the need to get everyone enough game time.
As always, work to be done at training to sort through the things that went awry on match day.

While it was all bout Webby back at the clubrooms, only the regulars turned up which is something team management need to address. It's like Dick Power is still in the team and not coming to the clubrooms afterwards.

Footnotes

Who would have thought we'd rely so much upon the Scots. Except for Calum. His directional kicking was somewhat wayward, but the other two managed to find the line. Twice. Each. Murray, as always used his strength to get through and Ross used the mathematical formula stating that it's impossible to grab onto an person skinnier than the person doing the grabbing. I'm probably paraphrasing, but Einstein understands me.
And to complete the foreigners getting all the points, Tom slotted all 4 tries with relative ease. For once. It should be noted that others beside myself, thought Murrays first try was scored by Cal, but that's only because he surreptitiously slid in next to him and got up holding the ball. Sneaky.

All this occurred in the second half. Down 0-20 at the end of the first with the forward pack culling themselves for the greater good, which did the greater good in the second. Our scrums outsized Linwoods but we didn't use that to our advantage.
Not to take anything away from anyone's individual effort, but the forwards just didn't seem to gel as a full unit. Replacements at half time and later got things moving but there's still some team bonding issues that need to be worked out soon in a full throated drinking session of which I'm sure will come very very soon.
Our backs were ummmm more skittery? I have no clue what a back is supposed to do except kick run pass and score tries while the forwards do all the hard work. I'm guessing that happened because only 2 backs were replaced. By foreigners. Of the 11 backs in the squad today, only 3 were Kiwi born (with 2 only getting on the field) and all the rest were from Engleterre, Ecoste, Irlande, Canadialand or Nippon. It's the bloody United Nations out there.
But we're all the better for it.

Lots of Old Coves watching the game and chatting at the Club afterwards which bodes well for the Anniversary Dinner.