The plan was to have Belfast so in awe of us, that they'd be shitting enough so you could pretend you were swimming in a Rio river. But, this season, none of our plans have ever come to a successful fruition. Bugger.
However, the real plan was to have some fun knowing this was our last game of 2016 and most of us achieved that. Even Uli had the Missus watching his 275th Keith game, until she decided to go to the pub at half time and not come back. But still.

Georgie decided to try and emulate a new trend of kicking the ball backwards, however, he is Irish, so not much came of it. Another trend that has failed to take off was the ability to catch the ball while in forward motion. Jan still has some skills to improve there. And then there's Kristen (girls name) Currie. Gangly, yet lumbering at the same time. He is one of the most difficult creatures to have roamed this earth to watch playing rugby. Nothing seems to be in step or in place, yet we still love him. Like Queen Mary and King George loved Prince John.

The game itself was basically Belfast scoring and us not scoring. Even when Jamie scored, we didn't really score, but never let a consolation prize take anything away from the fact, that you've won a prize. TMO video evidence notwithstanding.
A lot of players came off the field quite before their scheduled time, such as Uli and Ross. Well, only those two. Uli because he's old and Ross because he needed a ciggy. Ross leaving caused the entire backline to alter positions, but when Uli left we just shoved another front rower in there. no harm done. We had nine to choose from after all.

Four New Boys started the match, with a further three finishing and without them, we'd had been screwed weeks ago. I've always been proud of our New Boys and how much they contribute to the team. Keith thanks you all very much. I'll be taking monetary contributions for the New Boy of the Year votes for the Awards soon. Of course, New Boys would be nothing without Coves, and we've got plenty.
Nine centurions played today, with 6 more with over 50 games. Skill level is high. Endurance level is not so high, which is why New Boys and Sam exist.

So yes, a disappointing last few games (results wise) for us, but it is what it is. We Came. We Played. We Didn't Quite Get There. But if thirty nine seasons of Keith Rugby have shown, there's always always always next year.

Obvious thanks go to everyone who played, participated, supported and sponsored Keith, but specific thanks go to a particular few.
To Trouty who has given us advice and coaching. To Chief and Rob who again put up their hands for the lead coaching positions and to Muncher and Cal who support them. To Isaac and the others in management, a great deal of thanks, even if it wasn't mentioned earlier, or enough. To our ever present supporters. Bless you. Courtney and Courtney, Ngawai, Jacqui, Yvonne, Celia, Theresa, Wellsy, Katie, Kristen and everyone else who supports us online or at the pub. And Doug. Wouldn't be a Keith game with you mate.

A few more weeks and things will finally be officially over. Kokatahi looms, Sportsmen of the Year Awards to come and then before you know it, summer Touch starts, then Cricket and Softball. Then Show Week then Christmas parties start to happen, not that I ever get invited, then it's New Year and Waitangi and ANZAC Day and bugger me sideways it's rugby season all over again.

See you pricks then.

There is such a thing as being over-prepared for a game, and we tried to do that. Talking all week about the game and the "must win" aspect if we were to have a chance of advancing into the final (after beating Belfast, of course), training hard at the gym on Thursday and getting to Sumner 1/4 of an hour earlier than usual. Unfortunately, we ended up being under prepared by a factor of a shit-ton. Someone didn't pick up the jerseys from the club. Someone didn't pick up the water bottles from where ever they were last left at which meant the calmness of Theresa and the panic of Chief drove back into town to get them. Crisis avoided. Only 12 minutes late starting the game.

While the Sharks were getting some TV coverage about something blah blah, we focused on our game plan, although Bravo managed to get his hair and make-up done in case they needed a quick interview stand-in.

We've all heard me say that rugby is the top 6 inches of a player, and I'm right. Mental preperation is key. And we simply didn't keep our mental plan once we hit the field. As soon as Sumner scored we went off the boil. Four times. And that's not what we're supposed to do. But it wasn't all doom and gloom. Bruce (50 games) played well in his extra large jersey while others in more skinnier apparel kept up the speed and agility. Jan in his first starting game had a bit of trouble finding his positional game, and that will come with time, Ross put in a blinder and Louis provided some needed stability towards the end of the match. Unit seems happy to play in 20 minute bursts but at his age, it's ok. Uli announced his retirement after next weeks game (his 275th) so a new reserve hooker will be needed. If Jonesys knees hold out that is, otherwise we'll need two more for next year.

Sean had his socks taped up too tight thereby cutting off the circulation to his feet which in a player as active as he is, isn't a good thing. Muncher had his scrum cap on too tight. But that's only to match Olivia's grip on his balls. The Percy clan were there watch Nick play. And will no doubt watch him asleep on the couch later on in the night after complaining he's too sore but who will be secretly complaining to himself about his woeful kicking. Whereas Alan doesn't care if he misses goal.

AJ put in a bit of much needed mongrel when he came on, but too little too late methinks. The Sumner damage had been done by then.
Jared and Bravo showed why wingers are needed by scoring a try apiece which many would think was the highlight of the game.
The real highlight was 32 players turning up to play a good game of footy (even if only 29 got on the field). Let's get the same for next week in our last game of the 2016 season.

Vinny's back. And he showed his skills. It's great to watch a man cut up the opposition with ease on an individual basis, but it's even nicer to watch a whole backline do it. Unhappily, that hasn't happened now for a few weeks because of reasons. If it wasn't for Webby and a dodgy immigration service, our backline would be nearly non existent. All we need now is all those soft pricks who are allegedly injured or on holiday in Scotland and Argentina and Australia to get back here before the season ends.

Jared also came back from fucking about in the mud with his girlfriend. And he added to our efforts today. Apparently getting dirty in muddy water's a thing now. I'm clearly showing my age. Young Georgie has been shunted into the starting lineup for a few weeks now and by jolly jingo he's doing well. He's missing Dick, of course, but he's tackling and running and falling over quite nicely. It's lovely to watch. Returning to Keith after a few years away was Kyle who hasn't aged a day and our very own Czech porn star Jan gave his second game a bloody good go.

But the highlight of the backline was when Webby went off. And was replaced by Josh. Son of Dan. Former Keith and Former Club Captain. The family is strong with this one. Hopefully when he's grown out of playing in the colts he can think about a real career in rugby with us.

Sam's father was watching, so that meant he had lots of emotions about shit making him play harder, run harder, tackle harder and score a try harder. It also meant he had a clash of heads harder than medical advice recommends but after a couple of minutes wondering where he was, he got back into the game. Dirky always plays better when his son is at the game. He doesn't actually watch, he just plays with his toys and scares the rest of us from ever wanting to procreate. Kristen (girls name) played gangily and got dropped to the deck. That's been happening a lot lately with him, which either means he's clumsier than he used to be, or he's getting stuck in more. It's hard to tell.
Steve had a spot of bother throwing the ball in and jumpers had a spot of bother holding on to the ball once they'd intercepted it mid-flight and I suspect no one is happy about having extra lineout practice next Thursday.

Overall, it was a funny old game, but played in very good spirits and with some excellent running play. But also with some not so good runs of play. A typical Keith underperformance.

Two more games, and a final, to play. Let's not baulk at the very end after that wee speed wobble earlier on in the season.

I think we went wrong when we were too busy worrying about going to Belfast instead of worrying about actually playing against Belfast. Which means, our on the field playing abilities (which are very good) were overshadowed by our internal mental abilities (which are apparently rubbish). We had a sound game plan. A sound knowledge of their style of play. A sound respect for the referee; yet, we had a sound in our heads telling us to ignore all that. Not a winning rugby method.
However, I managed to piss off several people in a single afternoon, so it wasn't a total fools errand to go out to Sheldon Park after all.

Injuries and immigration made our numbers weak in areas where we had previously been strong and that's not an excuse, just an explanation, but we had the numbers in the end to field a good side. Georgie is improving by leaps and bounds and seeing his rugby confidence grow is akin to watching Dirk 15 years ago. Good for a laugh, but upon reflection, a voice saying "bugger me, he's not too bad". Webby as always gives his voice and hands to the team and drives the forwards forward and does something to the backs. Who knows what skitteries get up to out there. Tevita is proving handy and Bravo is one of those seasoned players you just can't imagine not being in the team. That being said, nothing seemed to go right out in the back line. Defense or attack. Something was just not there today.

The forwards, who are the powerhouse and driving force in the team (no bias) were much the same as the skittery backs. Except a forward scored our only try (and a back missed the conversion). Daz decided he wouldn't be fit enough to play, so Breen went in to the front row, but never quite got settled. Unfortunately, he suffered a neck injury which at first glance by the twelve orthopaedic doctors in the team seemed fine. I'm sure Celia will be the man in the family and send him to the real doctors soon to get it checked.

Piez turned up to play and was needed. Col turned up sort of wanting to play and was needed and Jan turned up and was fizzing at the bit to play but wasn't really needed but got on in the last ten anyway. Something about that equation doesn't sit right. Oh, and Mittens was there again. Yay Mittens. Thomas Richard Patrick Murray Ross (pick your surname, pick your christian name) turned up and was needed too, but not officially. Cryptic, but understandable if you were there.

So we will find out next week which section we will be in. Top four or bottom four. Quite frankly, I'm not sure which one I prefer. Top four = chance to be champions but means tough hard games against teams who have spanked us. Bottom four = relatively easy games for essentially 5th place.

Dick gone. Muzz gone. Rob out. AJ out. Jared missing. Ross out. Cal out (and going). Our back line was seriously depleted at the start of the game. We had players out of position and shaking in their usually 30 minute boots. The call went out to Former Keith Great Warwick TAYLOR who came over with one of his mid fielders and filled some holes we had. Also thankfully Mittens turned up after not getting game time the last couple of weeks, so well done that man.
Forwards, as usual, we had covered in spades. So many forwards in fact Breen never even got on the field (except to carry the water bottles) when Kristen (girls name) stubbed his toe.

Due to the Dick's favourite lady ref being on island time, we started a bit late but her usual lack of rule knowledge made up for any lingering frustration we had at not having someone slightly competent on the other end of the whistle. I now know why she has pulled out of so many of our matches. She plays for the Sydenham womens team so has scheduling conflicts. Which is cool. Rugby is the winner on the day *cough cough bullshit*.

Pressure is our friend. Brad seemed to relish it. Which was great to see. Bravo thrives on it and scored well from it. Alan simply leapt into pressure fuelled mode and proved he's better than Lucey. And Mittens looked quite odd in an oversized scrum cap, but looked impressive running and tackling and shit.
Spook and Kev are quite the interchangable Number 8 and Chris took Sam's spot on the side quite nicely. This whole comfort-zone thing has been getting in our way and my view is we need to kick it out the door. Mix things up a bit and see what you guys can do. What I saw today showed us all I think that no one is a one note player except for Jones who screaming from the sideline is one whole octave above any other note heard by anyone, even dogs. But none of this has anything to do with me. It's up to Chief, Poacher and Trouty.

Sumner seemed a bit keener on getting stuck in than we did and ultimately it showed on the results board. Maybe their recent losses inspired them more than our recent wins inspired us. Who can say. I can say however, Kristen (girls name) went off with a dubious injury. Uli milked for all it was worth a potential injury (kick to the head) but stayed on fighting for the win to the end. Two different styles based on one of them works at a comfy desk in the city and the other works in a factory with big machines in the countryside. Beginning to waffle a bit now to fill in space.

Thanks to Tim and Wazza for the help. Thanks to Sumner for the Tui and for not complaining too much about the changing sheds.