Keith Rugby - Scaring the Opposition Since 1978

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Keith vs Burnside - Saturday 16th July 2011
Saturday, 16 July 2011

Posted by: Keith Rugby    See more posts like this: Match Reports
Keith vs Burnside
Ground: Bob Deans 3
Time: 2-45pm

Team List


Forwards
Isaac ARAPAI
Fred BROADMORE
Ian COWAN
Kristen CURRIE
Dave FALVEY
Hayden SMITH
Colin GRAVETT
Barrie GIBBS

Backs
Shane BOYD
Brendyn LAWSON
Paul CRICHTON
Adam JOHNSTON
John LUXTON
Kyle McLEOD
Gary RICHARDS

Reserves
Richard BRACEY
Steven JACK
Matt YATES
Kevin WILLIAMS
George PHILIP
Heath BARLOW
Patrick LUCEY
Stuart HERRIOT
Justin GULLERY
Rob FOLEY
Bevan WEBB

Points: 5-0, 10-0, 12-0, 17-0, 19-0, 19-3, 19-8, 24-8 26-8

Tries: Kyle McLEOD, Barrie GIBBS, Fred BROADMORE, Brendyn LAWSON
Conv: Bevan WEBB (2), Rob FOLEY
Pen:

Player of the Day:

Photographs here: http://207.191.227.90/~keithpic/2011/20110716/


WHO LET THE KEITHS OUT? WOOF. WOOFWOOF. WOOF. WOOF.



This is it guys blah blah blah we can do it yeah yeah just keep it together and yeah righto Trouty cool story ,bro.

You guys don't need me to tell you how it all went. You were there. Playing or watching.
We all knew what the stakes were. We all knew what we had to do and how to get it.
Play our game at our pace using all our boys to our abilities. When you do that the maths add up and victory is ours. Simple.

Not saying it was easy. Burnside did put up a fight. Even the Ref got in on the act by mixing up his left and right arms. And we were lucky he didn't use it on Toad once or thrice, but Munchers exceptional captaincy on his 50th game calmed everyone down coughcoughbullshitcough and he wank wank wank fuck it I'm over this writing malarky.

All I can say is the biggest and best incentive to win is to look around you and and have faith and trust in the Keith next to you and have faith and trust in yourself. Can't go wrong.




Keith vs Belfast Div 4 - 9th July 2011
Saturday, 09 July 2011

Posted by: Keith Rugby    See more posts like this: Match Reports
Keith vs Belfast Div 4
Ground: Sheldon Park 4
Time: 2.45pm

Team List


Forwards
Fred BROADMORE
Greg BROWN
Phil HUGHES
Kristen CURRIE
Steven JACK
Hayden SMITH
Richard BRACEY
Barrie GIBBS

Backs
Shane BOYD
Rob FOLEY
Paul CRICHTON
Adam JOHNSTON
Kyle McLEOD
Patrick LUCEY
Justin GULLERY

Reserves
George PHILIP
Ian COWAN
Kevin WILLIAMS
Colin GRAVETT
Isaac ARAPAI
Matt YATES
Brendyn LAWSON
Bevan WEBB
Gary RICHARDS
John LUXTON

Points: 0-5, 0-7, 5-7, 10-7, 13-7

Tries: George PHILIP, Hayden SMITH
Conv:
Pen: Rob FOLEY

Player of the Day: Brendyn LAWSON

Photographs here: http://207.191.227.90/~keithpic/2011/20110709/


WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE FINAL? KEITHS OR CRUSADERS. OH WAIT ...



Last weekend we stepped up to the plate to defeat our good friends Linwood. This week we stepped up to the plate, dusted it down and gave it a good hard shake to win against Belfast Div 4.
Everyone we had spoken to told us that the Freezingworkers would be knocking us off our top spot, but just quietly, we didn't believe them. Trouty and Lars believed in us instead and picked a team to do the job; with reserves to back everybody up.
And do the job we did.

The forwards soon found the Belfast front row weren't up to much and the backs soon realised that their backline was gaping full of holes.

But, and there always is one, we made an inordinate amount of basic handling mistakes worthy of an Under 12 side. If it was nerves or not enough weetbix this morning for breakfast, it lasted most of the 1st half and part of the 2nd. She wasn't all doom and gloom however. A.J., Toad and Rob provided excellent Keithly tackling and breaks, with Gulls, Kyle and Paddy doing it hard out in the deep.


Muncher and Rich provided good lineout ball with H, Rich, Baz, Kev and Colin making full use of their size and strength to control the loose ball.
Fred provided the mongrel in the front row with Unit, Piez and Matt putting in the hard work.

Mum was her usual vocal self, and spent quite a bit of time asking the ref if he needed his guide dog as he didn't always seem
to know what the offside rule looked like in practice. Trouty too seemed to be a bit perturbed by some decisions, but in the end, we don't need a ref to win a game for us. We just need to score more points than the opposition. Which we did.

Where everyone was after the game was a mystery, but you have to be there to see to hot police women and drink cold beer.




Keith vs Linwood - 2nd July 2011
Saturday, 02 July 2011

Posted by: Keith Rugby    See more posts like this: Match Reports
Keith vs Linwood B
Ground: Bob Deans 3
Time: 2.45pm

Team List


Forwards
Fred BROADMORE
Isaac ARAPAI
Phil KEARNS
George PHILIP
Kristen CURRIE
Hayden SMITH
Barrie GIBBS
Kevin WILIAMS

Backs
Heath BARLOW
Nick BROWN
Paul CRICHTON
Rob FOLEY
Adam JOHNSTON
Kyle McLEOD
Gary RICHARDS

Reserves
Brendyn LAWSON
John LUXTON
Ian COWAN
Colin GRAVETT

Points: 5-0, 7-0, 7-3, 7-8, 10-8

Tries: Rob FOLEY
Conv: Nick BROWN
Pen: Rob FOLEY

Player of the Day: Justin GULLERY, Colin GRAVETT

Photographs here: http://207.191.227.90/~keithpic/2011/20110702/


OPTIMUS VENATUS EST USQUEQUAQUE CONGELO VENATUS



Test Matches make me nervous. And this top of the table clash made me nervouser than usual.
Trouty and Lars picked their test team and fifteen Keiths took to Bob Deans with a start we never thought would happen. At least not to us.
Poacher did what he does best and scored in the worst positon possible for Sugar to attempt the conversion (right out in front), but the next two times he attempted a mid-pass steal it didn't quite come off so good. But nevertheless, ahead of Linwood we were for the entire first half.

The Linwood team were not as we remembered them from past years, with many converting from a rugby league background as the squad replaced those recently retired. But they still had the same spirit and eagerness to play and win as of old.

Sugar, after converting Poachers try and having a wee run around decided his 'attitude' needed to come off and have a rest, so Lars went on to boost the mid field. The only other reserves used were Bravo, Uli and Colin. Which tells the story of how the coaches had faith in the boys and their ability to do the hard yards even under trying times and close scores.

Linwood came back in the second half to sneak ahead by 1 point. 1 nerve wracking heart stopping point. Not a frightfully good place to be in for extended periods but in that place we were for quite a long time.
Rob right when it counted after a couple of not quite so accurate attempts, slotted a penalty goal over and secured a 2 point advantage for the boys but Linwood were not content to let that be the final score of they could help it.
Pressure was put on and we very nearly let them through, but right at the end of our defense, the Otago ref blew the whistle for full time and the victory.

Phil put his Club Captain hat on and refreshed the boys back in the Keith Pavillion, then we all decamped en mass to the Bealey Ale House where we spent the remainder of the night. Heath got evicted and will have some 'splainin' to do when he finally arries home and Fred got ejected, but not before threatening violence and using violence against another Keith.

And so ended our 9th game without losing in a row.




Keith vs Otautahi - 25th June 2011
Saturday, 25 June 2011

Posted by: Keith Rugby    See more posts like this: Match Reports
Keith vs Otautahi
Ground: Bower Park 1
Time: 2.45pm

Team List


Forwards
Peter HADDOCK
Greg BROWN
Ian COWAN
Kristen CURRIE
George PHILIP
Hayden SMITH
Colin GRAVETT
Barrie GIBBS

Backs
Shane BOYD
Paul CRICHTON
Rob FOLEY
Gary RICHARDS
Stuart HERRIOT
Leyton HUNT
Justin GULLERY

Reserves


Points: 3-0, 8-0

Tries: Ian COWAN
Conv:
Pen: Peter HADDOCK

Player of the Day: Patrick LUCEY

Photographs here: http://207.191.227.90/~keithpic/2011/20110625/

Occupational Psychosis: Do you have it, Motherfucker?



Occupational psychosis is the concept that one's occupation or career makes that person so biased that they could be described as psychotic. Especially common in tight occupational circles, individuals can normalize ideas or behaviours that seem absurd or irrational to the external public.

Well, I don't think that's ever happened before.
Last week I described the Ref as anal retentive. He must have read it, because this week he overcompensated and let everything explode.
I'm not going to comment on what was said, or believed to have been said by who; sufficed to say, it's not the role of a referee to have conversations/arguments with players or teams. He has recourse to penalising teams or issuing yellow or red cards if he has reason to believe the rules of rugby are being broken.

By now, if you weren't at the game, you may be wondering what I'm talking about. In a nutshell, the Referee felt he was unable to continue the game as he would wish to do, without the help, and suport, of the woman he loves (his mother) and called off the game after 21 minutes, walked off, sat down next to his gear, had a wee cry inside and then left leaving us all either thankful we could complete our hangover cures or amped up to overload because we drank a shit load of go juice.

As his hostility was not directed at us, Trouty's penalty and Uli's try stand, as does the 'final' score of 8-0 giving us the official win.

"That's like cumming early after paying for a $500 hooker" was one way of describing how we felt.

A disappointing end to Trouty's 150th Keith game, but the celebrations at Keastys more than made up for it. Four Players of the Day shouts and a few more jugs rounded off the evening nicely.




Keith vs Hornby - 18th June 2011
Saturday, 18 June 2011

Posted by: Keith Rugby    See more posts like this: Match Reports
Keith vs Hornby
Ground: Denton Oval
Time: 1-00pm

Team List

Forwards
Isaac ARAPAI
Fred BROADMORE
Phil KEARNS
Geoge PHILIP
Steven JACK
Blair McINTOSH
Hayden SMITH
Kevin WILLIAMS

Backs
Leyton HUNT
Brendyn LAWSON
Paul CRICHTON
Adam JOHNSTON
Patrick LUCEY
Stuart HERRIOT
Gary RICHARDS

Reserves
Peter HADDOCK
Phil HUGHES
Greg BROWN
Dave ELDER
Justin GULLERY
Perry SCARLETT
John LUXTON
Dave FALVEAPOTATOES

Points: 0-5, 0-7, 0-12, 0-14, 5-14, 7-14, 12-14, 17-14, 22-14, 24-14, 29-14, 31-14, 31-19, 31-21, 36-21, 41-21, 43-21

Tries: Blair McINTOSH (2), Brendyn LAWSON (2), Gary RICHARDS, Paul CRICHTON, Dave ELDER
Conv: Leyton HUNT (3), Greg BROWN
Pen:

Player of the Day: Dave ELDER, Paul WELLS

Photographs here: http://207.191.227.90/~keithpic/2011/20110618/


I'M GONNA LOVE RUGBY LIKE NOBODY'S LOVED RUGBY COME RAIN OR COME SHINE



I'm not afraid to admit it, but I was late to the game because I was still tucked up in bed nice and warm waiting for the txt from Phil to say the rain had caused the cancellation of the game. But alas, that txt never came.

It was, however, worth the effort to drive across earthquake damaged roads to one of the many dodgy parts of town to a rugby game inside a cycling velodrome.

Hornby put the acid on quickly and scored 2 tries while we warmed up, but Blair and Lars soon evened up the score. The conditions were a bit slippery but we held our composure and held on to the ball while Hornby tried tricks out of the dirty tricks handbook by targeting Gavs neck and other illegal moves to get an advantage.
Mr Anal Retentive Referee wasn't falling for that and awarded us a shit load of penalites of which we did not turn into points. Eh?


The second half came with a couple of personnel changes and with instructions from Trouty to stop fucking kicking the ball right up the guts and into their fucking arms. No one listened.

We did however, up the intensity in the damp and started scoring try after try until we ended up 4 tries ahead. That always makes the beer taste better.
And beer there was.









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